When I became a mum, I knew, I KNEW that meant a commitment to another person's welfare for many, many years. I knew it meant sacrificing some of the things I enjoyed during non-parenthood. I knew it meant an investment of time unlike any other I'd made before. And I made the choice to have a baby knowing that. But until I held Dear Boy, until I lived through those first few days, weeks, months, his first year and beyond, I didn't KNOW just what that felt like.
Today's writing prompt is about something I miss, and, well, I miss leisure time. More specifically, I miss the long, slow unadulterated periods of time that I used to use to recharge my batteries. The uninterrupted hours I could spend reading, wandering, visiting, watching, listening, laying down, walking around, running, driving, being out in the night, being alone, being with other people. I miss that. A lot.
I still have leisure time. I still manage to read and finish books. I walk and sometimes run with my boy. I write here and read a lot of blogs. I craft. I very, very occasionally get to leave the house without Dear Boy. I enjoy all of those things. But the short bursts don't seem to offer the same charge capacity, like topping up a phone battery with a few minutes on the charger here and there, or only putting a few dollars worth of petrol into the tank at a time. It helps. It makes me keep going, but it's not going to get me very far.
I need to find a new way to recharge, to be filled to the brim. I need that to be the mum my boy deserves. Where are the renewable energy sources for parents?